Imagine
standing on the top floor of a burning building, with flames engulfing the
windows, knowing that the only way out is through the open window. The smoke is
swirling in your lungs, the room is collapsing around you, but you know what
abyss waits on the other side of the window. You don’t want to burn, and you
don’t want to die. You are trapped inside your own body, unable to stay still,
unable to move forward. This is everyday life for a U.S. Army Veteran suffering
from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. One moment he is doing housework, hammer in
hand, ready to drive the nails into his children’s tree house. The next moment
he is plunged into a horrific scene where he is using that hammer to smash his
own children’s skulls. The image is uncontrollable, arriving and departing with
a will of its own, leaving him shaken, exhausted, and horrified. He is merely
the shell of a person; his exterior survived the war, while the man he used to
be was killed in combat. On the outside he is a survivor, bearing no physical
signs of his time in the war. On the inside he is a crumbling wasteland,
flooded with darkness, uncontrollable anger, and irrational flashes of
violence. He doesn’t trust himself around his own family, but lives in fear of
being alone. He is trapped in his suffering, not wanting to die but burning
alive.
She
is so terrified that every time she closes her eyes, she sees the face of her
attacker. She is too afraid to go to sleep at night, too afraid to be alone in
the dark for any amount of time. When she tries to sleep, violent scenes await her
on the other side of her eyelids, creating horrific and inescapable nightmares.
She obsessively checks her windows, doors, and locks, sure that her attacker is
just on the other side. She experience panic attacks. She has no ability to
focus, and stopped trying to make new friends or join her community. She is a
victim of rape who is suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. She
withdraws from the world, thinking she can’t trust anybody. Her flashbacks are
triggered by what should be acts of love and affection, sending her reeling
back into the horror she experienced the night she was raped. Unable to get
away, she turns to drug use and alcohol abuse in an attempt to escape the
reality she knows. Outwardly, her wounds from the encounter have healed,
leaving only faint scars. Inwardly, however, the real damage festers and
destroys who she once was, and influences who she will become. Her life is
controlled solely by fear, driving her way from help and normalcy.
Posttraumatic
Stress Disorder is an outwardly invisible condition that is entirely mentally crippling.
It produces different symptoms depending on the traumatic event and the person
who experienced it; however, no case is any less debilitating than another, and
each case requires serious attention and treatment.
